等我回来的时候，我将开始新的生活！
Look! Nick is down to Mexico, I'm going to go visit him.
I'm not gonna to drink, I'm not gonna to smoke;I'm gonna right, I'm gonna meditate;I'm gonna eat healthy, and I'm gonna swim, and I'm gonna work out, and I'm gonna write about all these feelings that are way up down inside of me. And when I get back, I'll get a place and job. I'm gonna call Ben today, I'm gonna set up an appointment. But I need to go away, and when I come back, I'll be ready for life.
或许我们都曾许诺过，逃离当下的生活和境遇，去另一个城市，“洗心革面”般地开始一段短暂美好令人憧憬的"理想生活"；然后再借由这段理想生活的剩余力气重新冲进不曾改变的一团乱的生活和境遇。一切如故，甚至更糟。如电影中的主人公，一通电话立即返回纽约的家中。
接着，请允许我给你讲一个动人的故事：
James: Where do you wanna be?
Gail: Paris!
James: You hear the sounds on the streets, the cars on the street.(Sigh) The wind, relax your mind. My wife and I move there, we got two beautiful boys. You live next door in a beautiful one bedroom, you have all your books.
Gail: I want some Billie. (Billie Holiday was an American jazz musician and singer-songwriter)
James: You show my children all the museums on Sundays; you teach them about everything. We have dinner in my house every Friday as a family. Smells the flowers from the flora market. See Louvre, see Rodin in garden, see me happy, see me as a father, see me as a kind and loving man, see me smile to see you happy. My children love their grandma. You watch them grown up, you tell them my secret when they're old enough. You meet a man you love, he's French.
Gail: Expat...
James: What?
Gail: Expat
James: Expat. He's a wonderful man fits perfectly in our family. He loves you, he inspires you, he values you. He holds your hands for everything. He's an adventurist. He loves you, you are surrounded by people you love who love you. You're safe. You're responsible for all these beauty. Thank you, thank you for giving me this life and help me create this myself.
小时候，妈妈总是给我们描绘一个美好世界，它或许源于安徒生故事里的情节，或许源于妈妈对我们产生的爱意而下意识编织的童话梦；转眼间，妈妈年华老去孩子长大成人，角色间的转换，是时候由我们为妈妈想象一个可以战胜癌症的美好的生活。能逗笑你，我就已然感受到幸福。
最后，我们必须在夹缝中毅然生存！
We feel good things, way up here;
But we feel bad things, way way, way down there.
And we got try to remember, there are the space in between, we got try to live in there too, right?
请好好地活下去！也亲眼看着我慢慢地变好起来，我保证。对不起，我爱你。
由于工作的原因，会接触一些患有老年痴呆，阿兹海默综合症和残疾的老年人。电影里妈妈的角色因为癌症第四期出现的一些并发症我在工作环境中时常也接触到，比如记忆力的衰退或者混乱，情绪快速转变，易怒，甚至失语症等等。也真的在工作中遇见了和电影《飞越疯人院》里面的麦克墨菲一样前额叶白质被切除的老年人，并不是成为了植物人，只是真的没有情绪波动。硬要形容的话，大概是devil face.
电影的结局，妈妈“闹”了一场令人哭笑不得的乌龙，相反地，却惊醒了James, 仿佛是上天又给了他一次机会，让他品尝失而复得，从而去履行自己的保证的机会。电影告诉我们，一团糟的生活和境遇，从来都不能依靠一段理想生活的后劲去面对并解决，我们要做的是，反复品尝失去的滋味，然后牢记重新得到后的珍惜与狂喜。
附上一篇关于这部电影的报道：[url=http://www.vulture.com/2015/11/james-white-new-york-magazine-cynthia-nixon.html]http://www.vulture.com/2015/11/james-white-new-york-magazine-cynthia-nixon.html[/url] 你应该知道关于这部电影的九件事。日记的标题取自这篇报道所说的倒数第二件事。
最后想说，实在很难过的时候，告诉自己：It's Okay to be sad.
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