孤注一掷：托特纳姆热刺

英超的教练不是教练（coach），而是经理（manager）。一个成功的足球教练，必须是一个成功的管理者，因为在足球这样的团队体育竞技中，士气和氛围对成绩太重要了。让我们来好好学习一下鸟叔在热刺的操作吧。

一、初来乍到，和团队核心一对一谈前任

J: Very simple. I believe that you had a very good relation with Mauricio.
H: Yep.
J: I love that. I always think good relationship with the previous man, then why not a good relation with me?
H: Yeah.

凯恩是这只队伍的绝对大佬。这个地位是在前任波切蒂诺的五年中建立起来的。🐦必须得到凯恩的支持。当然，🐦刚来，凯恩不可能立即反对他。

J: So I see you training yesterday, I have no doubts that you are a giver. That's my feeling.

凯恩是敬业型性格。作为头牌，他每场比赛都打满全场，杯赛也不错过。夸奖他这一点真合理。

J: The world looks to English football with incredible respect, but they still think that the movie stars of football, they belong to other places.
H: Yeah.

凯恩是英超巨星，但是人们觉得真正的巨星不在英超。提一下外界的质疑，对于有雄心的人是最好的刺激。

J: And I think we have, we have to build also your status in that direction.
H: Yeah.
J: My profile, I am a little bit
H: I know.
J: I am a little bit that as a coach. The reality is that my dimension is universal. And by being with me,
I think I can help you to...
H: Yeah, that's my aim, you know. When you're at a club like Tottenham, of course, we've done well, personally, I've done well...

开始画饼，🐦是一个教练界真正的巨星，他要帮助凯恩成为真正的巨星。这时候凯恩说了他的第一个长句。之前都是yeah附和，这次开始打开自我了。交流的时候，反馈越多说明越有效。

J: but it's not enough.
H: I want to be Ronaldo and Messi.
J: Yes.
J: What I don't accept, because that's my fucking nature, I don't accept to be here... doing, winning nothing. Fucking hell. I don't, but I feel that we can.
H: Yeah.

凯恩可真敢想啊，成为梅西C罗。不过作为领导，🐦心里应该乐开花了吧，这时候他反过来附和凯恩。

J: Because of you. You know, you have better players than I had at Manchester United. So I think the club has a lot to explode.
H: Yep.
J: I'm here.
H: I appreciate that.
J: OK?
H: Good.

千穿万穿，马屁不穿。你比曼联那群B强多了。（你的林皇，无限猖狂）以一个拉踩，完美的结束对话。

二、敲打下滑的年轻球员

阿里一度能赛季进球助攻上双，但是这个赛季首发都上不了了，英格兰国家队也进不了。在前一集中，🐦两次说他“你真他妈懒”，一次是训练后，一次是在所有人开会的时候。该怎么重新激活他呢？

J: OK. So what I want to tell you basically is this, Um... I think you feel that I like you.
A: Yeah.

同样是一个套近乎的开场。这里阿里的反应是和之前一样的邪魅的笑，态度明显不像凯恩那样是认真的。

J: You feel I like you as a player and I like you also as a kid. I think you are a nice kid. I don't want to be your father because you have your father. I don't want to be your uncle or your old brother. I just want to be your coach, but with a good connection. So I have to tell you always what I think. Inside of you, maybe you tell me to fuck off. But I have to tell you exactly what I think.

🐦对付这类人的方法，不是成为好朋友，发展个人关系，而是保持职业。你和阿里打成一片，能不能亲近是一回事，就算关系好，他不会把你的话当回事。他现在以一个教练，以一个上级的身份说话，尝试让对方严肃起来。

J: And for me, since the beginning, I had no doubts about your potential. I saw you do incredible matches and incredible things. But I always felt that you had ups and downs. There is a huge difference between a player that keeps consistency and a player that has moments. And that is what makes a difference between a top, top player and a player with a top potential.

面对死猪不怕开水烫的人，应该是先摆事实。注意这是不含价值判断的不具体指向对象的事实，更有说服力。

A. 这里只有一句“you had ups and downs”，是直接说“you”。接下来说的是“a player”。我们都有被批评教育过，如果上来都是“你你你”，是不是心里不舒服？这会直接激发人的自我防御。

B. 🐦的整段话没有提到好或者坏。他说了一句废话：“世界上有稳定的球员，和不稳定的球员，有顶级球员，和顶级天赋球员”。本质上和“这里有两棵树，一棵是枣树，另一棵也是枣树”是一样的。这让人很难反驳。

J: It's something you don't have to share with me. I think it's just for you to analyse yourself. And to realise why my career has been OK. M.K. Dons to the national team. Bang! And then you reach the top. And then... Why you have in your career these little ups and downs. I don't know. I don't know if it has to be your lifestyle. If in one period, you are an amazing professional. If in another period, you become a party boy, going... I don't know. I have no idea. Only you can know that.

这一段是最重要的！🐦没有直接说你要少去夜店，或者提出其他什么具体的要求。他让阿里自己找问题。阿里的问题只有自己能解决。禁止去夜店，改变生活方式，没有人能管到他的方方面面。如果思想有问题，啥都白瞎。

“三流的人才把自己的想法变成自己的行动。二流的人才把自己的想法变成变人的行动。一流的人才把自己的想法变成别人的想法。”如果你只是把自己想的让下属做好，这不算本事。下属也是人，必须让他发挥能动性，让他理解你的意图，才能做到最多。

从接受度的角度来说，这也是最佳的表述方式。“我要你怎样”也许是最不讨人喜欢的一句话了。🐦避免直接命令，然后用“我不知道怎样”替换这个说法。

J: I am 56 now.And yesterday... yesterday I was 20. Not again. And today I'm 56. Time flies. Time flies. And I think one day, I think you will regret... if you don't reach what you can reach. I'm not expecting you to be man of the match every game. I'm not expecting you to score goals every game. I want just to tell you that I think you will regret.

这里🐦一开头是光阴似箭日月如梭的老调重弹，但是他加入了节奏变化，在这一句后面来一个降低期望，减小压力“我不是想让你成为mvp”“我不是想让你场场进球”。

J: You should demand more from you. Not me demanding more from you. Not me. Nobody. You. I think you should demand more from you.

“You should demand more from you”重要的话说了两遍。因为这是谈话的核心，重复加深印象。

A: No, I understand.
J: Thank you, mate.
A: Thank you.

特别短的回复，不算成功。但是我觉得🐦已经做了他能做的了。